It’s the second day of 2012 and I can officially say that my year has not gone at all how I thought at this point. I spent the last few hours of 2011 in the hospital visiting my grandmother. There, I also saw my dad. Now for everyone that knows me knows the gravity of that statement. I’m not sure I’ve actually written about my dad on this blog but we haven’t had a relationship since I was 20.

In the wee hours of the New Year, I recieved a phone call that my grandmother had passed away. I’m still not sure what I feel but I just say to anyone that asks, “I’m okay”. It’s the easiest way to deal with it. Personally, I can’t actually place how I feel about any of what has happened recently but I know that this year can only go up from here.

The Christmas season is upon us and here is a Throwback to a shopping guide I wrote last Christmas. Weirdly, all of these gifts are things I would accept again this year.

Face: The Magazine — I Want (For Christmas)

This last few months have been full of coming of age talks between myself, friends, customers and coworkers. I’m approaching a milestone age and honestly, I thought I would’ve had life figured out a bit more at this point. I know after talking to lots of people older than me that I shouldn’t have it all figured out at 25 but I somehow felt like I should. Without your consent, life is usually put on a crazy time like where you go to college, (immediately) find a job and begin working towards that goal of you + mate and 2.5 kids with a white picket fence.

When I was 18, I thought I would be in a relationship that was heading toward marriage and planning the wedding of my dreams because I’d have to be settled into married life and have all of my kids by 34. Now with women having children later in life and taking longer to figure out what we really want to do, I’m starting to wonder when will it all happen. I know I’m not *ready* for marriage but I am at least ready to know who they guy is. Spend some time getting to know him and having fun without the girls. At this age, I pictured all of my friends living in the same city and going out for dinner once a week to catch up a la Sex and the City. Now, most of my closest girlfriends are hundreds (or thousands) of miles away and I’m working and going (back) to school.

I know I need to just chill out and wait for God to intervene but It’s so hard to do when you like to be in control and can’t even have a grasp on something as simple as one part of your life.

Guess I’ll just sit back and wait on God and stop trying to do all of this on my own…

On Monday nights, I indulge in tv. It’s usually not great TV as I save my great scripted TV for Sunday nights and How To Make It In America. But Monday is a bit different because I watch Love and Hip Hop, Love That Girl and tonight, TI & Tiny: The Family Hustle.

Now let me begin with stating that I love Tip and I think it’s great that he found everything he wanted and needed in a mate with Tiny. They have all of the kids and love any person could hope for but you can not base your ideals about marriage off this couple.

I saw a large number of tweets while I was watching the pilots for the show about how they are in love and how down Tiny is for her man. I get that. Tiny has been with Tip for a while but there are things that I believe people are overlooking when it comes down to their relationship being a model for your love life.
Tip had 3 children with 2 women before he met Tiny (two of which were “ghetto twins”). Now don’t get me wrong, my brother and I are two weeks apart and things like this happen regularly but that is already one strike most women aren’t willing to overlook.

Next, he has been in jail approximately 3 years of their relationship. I know for one, I would have a hard time dealing with my man being in and out of jail like that especially when we have all these children growing up without their day.

I say all of that to say, it can be nice on the outside looking in to notice that Tiny and Tip are happy and in love but you have to really notice all of the factors of their relationship and see how many of them would be dealbreakers.

Their love is perfect for them and I’m happy that he is able to profess it to the world that he is happy in love and the King of his house. (Oh, and the South. )

I sell jewelry for a living. That is my blanket factual statement for the day.

I hear a lot of random dumb sayings about why women aren’t getting what they want (or feel they deserve) and what the men in their lives will or will not do. It is a part of my job that is amusing but many times, I could go without the random conversation and many times lies from the parties on the other side of the counter.

One story that stuck out recently was a woman that came in looking for a heart shaped diamond engagement ring. She saw one and asked me to let her try it on. She said it was “her ring” and, “When you see the ring you cry over, you know it’s the one”. She asked if she could separate a trio set (the woman’s engagement ring, wedding band and the man’s wedding band for one price) and purchase just her two.

I told her know they come together but if she was purchasing it just for herself, she could sell his ring for the gold. She says to me, “No, he won’t wear a ring”.

I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t wear a ring and why she felt the need to go search for rings if he wasn’t down to even look as if he were in a relationship while out in public.

I began to wonder, is that a deal breaker?

I am not married but I wonder if I would deal with that. I know currently working in jewelry, I can’t see myself wearing a ring everyday but a man telling me that he won’t wear one at all… as in ever? I’m just not sure I can get down with that.

A few days ago, I sat down at my computer and decided I would write a pitch to a magazine I have been following. I wasn’t feeling particularly into it that day but something got into me at that moment and I decided that I needed to just do it like Nike says. I wrote it, read it to my friend Jess (she’s probably the biggest cheerleader a friend could have) and asked if she thought it was a good idea. I hit send and yesterday, I got a reply back from the editor.
Although, this is just the beginning of that story, putting it into the Universe was what I needed to do.
It’s funny because I tweeted those sentiments right after I decided to pitch the story. I guess resetting my life has been exactly what I needed.

After the age of 18, there are only a few great moments that are celebrated in your life: Graduation from college, getting married, having a baby and well getting a new job (if you’re in my kind of circle). Well this weekend two themes kept reoccurring. I started out Sunday watching Jumping The Broom then I caught up on Tia & Tamera (for some reason I have Style at my house now) and the Beyonce tells everyone she’s with child. See occurring themes? Husband, husband, baby, baby.
Now, I’m currently at the age where my friend want one or the other. Well my friends from high school that is. My friends from college all want another degree as most of us are in school or back in school again. We’ve put the husband dream on hold. We’re still “on that independent shit” as Kanye says.
Now Jess (my wifey as I call her), has had a dream about her fUTure wedding and as much as I love fairy tale endings I was like, “Really tho?”. This dream of hers was too perfect. I don’t think a bride could’ve imagined that on her own that had to be the dream concocted wedding. But now I wonder, will I have a fairy tale wedding or will it all be fast and a blur because I don’t want to deal with the details? I’ve already moved all of my friends to a section of the church rather than at the front with me and at this point (and watching Tamera plan her wedding) I’d much rather not deal with the stress and just say my “I Do” with just me + the mister and send out we did it post cards.
Am I taking away from the magic that can be a wedding or is it all just overrated anyways?

I haven’t been here in a few and decided I needed an update.
3. I just finished my second class of my MBA program and have a cumulative 3.1 GPA. Still not where it should be but I’m getting there.
2. Next month, I have a trip to sunny San Diego. Actually, in about 2 weeks. Can’t say I’m not excited.
1. My checking account is back where it should be after about 2 weeks of fraudulent activity.

This probably should have gone in reverse order because my GPA is of more importance but I digress.

A principal of a private school here in Memphis was killed a few days ago. Actually, it was Wednesday. I struggled with writing about this because I obviously don’t know any of the details and never even knew the school existed until that very day.

According to an a police article, Marmolejo [the student] allegedly told police he did not like York, that she made him angry and that he had been planning to kill her since May.
The shocking part of the story was that it was only the third day of school for both Memphis City Schools and their Seventh Day Adventist School, Memphis University School.

I found out about the killing of course via Twitter. People were making jokes about kids being upset and how the other teachers should watch out for their own personal safety. It didn’t sit well with me. I couldn’t understand how people could joke about a person’s death especially at the hands of a child. It was making national news and people were joking about it. This is real. A bigger cry that the Memphian that had recently made the news saying that he had been kidnapped and that the kidnappers had beat him and posted the pictures on Twitter.

I put all of this out there to say, you never know what is going on with someone and how you could impact their lives (good or bad) but there should be a level maintained where information shouldn’t be glassed over and should be taken seriously. It could have your child or your friend (the teacher) that is involved and at that moment, it wouldn’t have been a laughing matter.

Check out my cover story on Beyonce in this Summer’s Hip Hop U C It Magazine.